High school was not my favorite time of my life - in fact, it sucked. I was fortunate to have a great boyfriend who went to Duke - I think he saved my sanity and was a great teacher during a very difficult passage. Nobody knew of my suffering - I doubt any of us understood much about how others suffered in general - we were all quite young and self-absorbed. But that was age appropriate to our development at that stage of our growth: teenagers are narcissists by necessity. We are supposed to outgrow it, however.
I did not like the folks I went to high school with very much - although there were a few exceptions. I did not like them because frankly, they did not like me. There was grandiose social posturing and the status quo was the rule of the day. Nothing new or bold or revolutionary was going on at Jordan during the years I attended - just the rich Hope Valley kids making life miserable for the rest of us. It seemed to be their purpose in life to make everyone else feel inferior. Needless to say, I feel NO nostalgia for "the good old days that were not the good old days" to me.
Patriarchy has almost destroyed our planet in the last 60 or so years - the advent of the atom bomb and nuclear power plants really sped things up. The outright rape of the land (and of women and girls,) and the obscenity of male-focused religious practices have made this planet a hell. The rap about "getting back to the principles of the founding fathers" is just more of the same ratcheted up rhetoric that is meaningful only to those with money and (purchased) influence, who possess penises. The children, the future, the good of the planet - these are of no concern to these mindless and consciousless patriarchs. You two guys are not fooling me. I see exactly how little you care for anything beyond the nose on your faces or the impact it might have on how much is in your wallet. It is just like high school. You all may have grown up in years but you have not matured as souls. And I make this judgment based on your words and your behavior. Your lack of caring, of simple human kindness, is purely sad. It is folks like you who will destroy this world, while pointing fingers and blaming everyone who doesn't agree with you. High school all over again.
No, I do not have "penis envy." I feel sorry for you guys. Your lack of compassion has turned you into automatons who are incapable of thinking for yourselves, and do not ever encounter an original thought as consequence. I grieve your lack of conscience. I weep that your potential has been squandered in amassing wealth instead of serving humanity with humility and kindness - and the earth grieves too. Her sons do not love her - they continue to justify the rape and pillage and oppression of her children all over the world.
So understand your words to me are as meaningless as your monumental lack of insight or compassion. You did not give a crap in high school and I am not foolish enough to think you do now - I have always been a catalyst for change and for conversation and for other folks to pop off - it is part of the artist's function in the world. But I stand by my beliefs and I have high expectation of educated people - I really believe they need to care less about their own selves and a whole lot more about others. Especially after turning 50!
No one but you can have an internal revolution and become aware of the heart that beats in your breast. It is you who have to wake up to the reality beyond your greed and your ambition and your rhetoric. The truly big picture might be reflected in the traditional Native American view of the world: they make decisions based on how it will effect the next SEVEN generations - not just for the convenience of their own pocketbooks, power plays or personal agendas.
I hope one day you wake up and smell the coffee. I don't, however, hold out much hope for that. But rest assured that there are many who work quietly behind the scenes and out of the limelight to teach compassion and encourage folks to actually think for themselves. To question authority and the status quo is more necessary than voting. Acts of compassion are much more important than the game of "faux democracy" that currently dominates the ruling parties in our country. And while I am a patriot, I am also a humanitarian. People, caring for their needs, feeding, clothing, empowering them is MUCH more important than the illusion of government. The women have always known this and that is why everyone survives. It is the women who clean up the mess.
Male ego is a fragile thing - and like many women, I have spent years coddling it. But I am done with that. You menfolk need to be challenged to think beyond the tips of your erections. You need to give a crap about others, not just your own sons and daughters. You need to care about THE WORLD. When that is the case, perhaps a true conversation where mutual respect is given and received can take place. Until then, no such possibility exists. And I doubt you want it anyway - you might have to entertain new thoughts. Heaven forbid!
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